Seasonal Solitude

The holidays are often wrapped in images of big families, sparkling lights, laughter echoing through crowded living rooms and perfectly decorated dinner tables. However, the truth... one we don’t talk about nearly enough... is that not everyone experiences the season that way. For some people, Christmas can feel quiet, still… even lonely. If that’s you this year, you’re not strange, forgotten, or failing at life. You’re basically a human, living life in a real world.

There are folks who may be spending Christmas alone for a number of reasons. They may have recently relocated to a new city or perhaps had a change in their work schedule. They may be rebuilding life after a breakup, separation, or the end of a relationship that once defined their holiday traditions.

It's a fact of life that not every family relationship is a healthy, loving, or accessible one. People at times will find themselves estranged from loved ones due to conflict, emotional distance or other complications, which can make togetherness painful or totally impossible.

Some individuals are navigating Christmas without someone they once couldn’t imagine the season without, such as a parent, spouse, sibling, or friend. Grief can make the holiday lights seem dimmer and the seasonal songs weigh heavier on the heart.

Sometimes the barrier is one that's simple and practical. The cost to travel great distances can be a major factor: for instance, airline tickets may simply cost too much if budgets are restrictively tight. Folks are struggling financially in this current economic climate. Perhaps there just aren't any affordable means of transportation available as well.

Believe it or not, some people do choose solitude. They will use the season to avoid all the hustle and the bustle, the rush and the race, and instead opt to slow down, rest, heal, reflect, or rediscover themselves.

If you're someone who is going solo this season, whatever your story is, it matters. Your holiday can still hold that special warmth, connection, beauty, and meaning. There are a number of ways in which you can celebrate the holidays when you're alone, without feeling lonely.

You can choose to create your own form of holiday tradition. Traditions don’t have to be inherited; they can be designed. For example, you can watch your favorite Christmas movie marathon, make your favorite meal, bake cookies just for yourself or put up a tree or a single ornament that brightens your space.

You could also assign your seasonal days with a theme. Make each day a unique one such as a “Comfort Day,” “Movie Day,” “Pampering Day,” or “Adventure Day.” Treat yourself with kindness by resting, eating well, taking walks and allowing yourself the space and the grace to feel emotions without being self-critical or judgmental. By doing so, those times well spent will have some type of structure, with a purpose and give you something to smile about.

Another way in which you can enhance the holiday experience is by being of service to others. Spend time in engaging in volunteer work or by donating to a special cause. You could call or visit someone else who might be alone. You really don’t need a crowd to feel connected. A single heartfelt phone call, a video chat, or a text message extended to someone can make a great impact on that individual and allow you to experience the reason for the season in giving. Kindness truly has a way of circling back. It can fill your heart with that unique joy that comes from such benevolence, in so many unexpected ways.

For many people, Christmas especially holds a deeper spiritual meaning for those who realize the true reason for the season: Jesus, the only Gift that counts. By spending dedicated times in quietness for reflection, prayer and reading scripture, or by attending a service, even virtually, can bring you peace of mind, uplift your spirit and keep you emotionally grounded.

So, if you happen to find yourself solo in the season or sitting in seasonal solitude, remember this: The value of your life is not measured by how many people sit around your Christmas table. Sometimes it's the quiet seasons which grow us the most. Sometimes solitude becomes our strength and sometimes, being alone isn’t the absence of celebration but the beginning of rediscovering yourself in a deeper, more intimate and wholesome way.

You, my friend, are worthy of joy, you are worthy of love. and you do matter in this season.

Whatever you choose to do, make it a fabulous one!

Merry Christmas Blessings!

♥ Michelle