The Importance of Forgiveness

We’ve all been there. Someone says something hurtful, a friend betrays your trust or a family member lets you down deeply. In those moments, it feels natural to build a wall. We hold onto the anger like a shield, thinking that it will protect us. But here’s the truth: unforgiveness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to get sick. It doesn’t hurt the person who wronged you; it only weighs you down.

Bitterness is described as a root that grows up and defiles many people around us.

"See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many." (Hebrews 12:15) Roots grow underground, hidden from sight, but they spread wide and eventually push through the surface. Bitterness works in much the same way. What starts as a wound from one person begins to spread into how you treat your spouse, your children, your colleagues, and even strangers. Unforgiveness is never a private matter; it always ends up hurting others around you.

Believe it or not, science actually backs up what the scriptures have said for thousands of years. When you choose to forgive, you experience:

• Lower blood pressure. Letting go of a grudge literally calms your heart.

• Better sleep. It’s much easier to drift off when you aren't replaying an argument in your head.

• A stronger immune system. Stress hormones, such as cortisol, drop when you release bitterness, allowing your body to heal faster.

  
  

There are a few misconceptions about forgiveness which are accepted as true.

• Firstly, forgiveness isn’t about forgetting about what happened. You don’t have to have amnesia to forgive. You simply choose to no longer hold the debt against them.

• Also, forgiveness isn’t an excuse. Forgiving someone doesn't mean that what they did was "okay." It simply means that you are refusing to let their mistake control your happiness.

• Lastly, forgiveness isn’t always about reconciliation. You can forgive a toxic person while still maintaining firm boundaries (or even staying away from them) to keep yourself safe.

  
  

Many people turn to their faith in God to find the strength to forgive because, let’s be honest, it’s hard to do so on our own. Scriptural wisdom offers a powerful perspective on why we should lead with grace. The motivation for forgiveness is simple: we forgive because we have been forgiven. We are reminded to "be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as God, in Christ, forgave you." (Ephesians 4:32)

When Peter asked Jesus if he should forgive someone up to seven times, which seemed like a lot, Jesus responded with a radical idea: "I tell you, not up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven times." (Matthew 18:22) The point wasn't the specific number; it was the idea that forgiveness should be a lifestyle of extending unlimited grace and not a one-time transaction.

Sometimes, seeing forgiveness in action helps us to realize that it’s possible, even in the worst of circumstances. Think of Nelson Mandela. After spending 27 years in prison under an oppressive system, he walked out and chose reconciliation over revenge. He knew that if he stayed angry, he would still be a prisoner in his mind. Because he chose to forgive, he was able to lead an entire nation toward healing.

Or imagine a coworker who takes credit for your big project. You could spend months gossiping about them and trying to sabotage them, or you could address it, forgive the slight and focus your energy on your next big win. The person who forgives usually climbs the ladder faster because they aren't bogged down by office drama.

Here are simple and practical steps to take toward forgiving the offending party and finding peace within yourself:

• Acknowledge the pain: Don't pretend it didn't hurt. Admit you were wronged.

• Decide to release the person: Make a conscious choice to let that individual go. Say out loud, "I release [name of offender] from the debt they owe me."

• Pray or Meditate: Ask God for the strength to see that person as a flawed human being, just like the rest of us.

  
  

Remind yourself that forgiveness is a journey and not a destination. You may have to "forgive" the same person every morning for a month before it finally sticks.

Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the door to your own freedom. It’s not a gift you give to the person who hurt you; it’s a gift you give to yourself. When you let go of the "stones" of resentment you’ve been carrying, your hands become free to grab onto the blessings that are right in front of you.

So, choose to walk in forgiveness, daily; make it a lifestyle, and break free from the chains that have you bound, so that you can wholly embrace the freedom God has in store for you.