I Am That One. (Misfit Musings)

I'm sure you've heard it said in certain circles: "Yep, there's one in every....(fill in the blanks) household, workplace, organization, company, group...."

Well, let me get this out of the way...making it a transparent confession: "I'm a social misfit."

You know the type: the one who feels awkward in group settings, zones out during small talk, and fumbles for words when everyone else seems to be effortlessly socializing. That's me.

I've always felt as if I didn't fit into the traditional social mold, and for a while, I thought that was a problem. That I wasn't a normal person. But as I've grown older, I've come to realize- it's not just okay to be a social misfit; in many ways, it's a quiet superpower.

For me, being a social misfit doesn't mean that I hate people or that I'm antisocial. I like people- just in small doses, and preferably, one at a time.

• Group dynamics? Not my thing.

• Networking events? A nightmare.

• Casual mingling at parties? Pure chaos.

But sit me down for a one-on-one conversation with someone who's genuine, and I'm all in. That's my comfort zone. It means I often feel out of place in typical social settings. I might miss cues which others pick up on easily. I tend to overthink or over-analyze things, like whether my joke was funny enough, or whether or not I talked too much (or too little.) I will likely observe more than I do participate, and while in my head I'm analyzing the flow of conversation, everyone else will probably have moved on to the next topic.

Believe it or not, studies say that there's an upside to this:

1. For one, there are deep connections that can be established. Since I don't engage in surface-level friendships, my close circle may be small but it's solid. If I talk to you, it's because I'm genuinely interested; I crave depth, not just banter.

2. Another thing: my skills at observation are heightened because I'll spend more time watching and listening. I may pick up on things that others miss, such as body language, vocal tones and underlying references. It makes me a good listener and someone who people would probably turn to when they want to be really heard.

3. By developing my own creativity and independence, I have a tendency to walk in my own path. Since I don't rely on group approval, I'm free to think differently. A lot of creatives, inventors and thinkers are in this category- slightly offbeat and out of sync with the crowd.

However, and let's be real about this, it's not all deep, meaningful conversation and unique bursts of creativity. Being different comes with its drawbacks:

• Being a misfit can feel isolating. Sometimes, I would like to be part of the group, to laugh easily and move through social spaces without feeling like a dork.

• There are times people often misread my stance as being cold, uninterested or arrogant when I'm just.... shy, or tired, or processing...or all three.

• In a world that rewards extroversion, being low-key can mean missing out... on connections, opportunities, or just being heard in group settings.

Now, because I've made peace with who I am, I've stopped trying to force this square peg that I am into the round hole of societal circles. I won't insert myself into spaces and places that drain me, or pretend to enjoy things that I don't. I cannot be something or someone that I was not created by God to be. I have embraced my identity in Him. And although I do challenge myself to show up, to speak up when it matters, or to engage when it feels uncomfortable, I do it on my terms.

Being a social misfit doesn't mean that I'm broken or need to be fixed. It just means that I move differently. I've found that the people who get me, or those who don't try to change me but accept my idiosyncrasies, are the ones to who I will gravitate easily.

I now realize that when I stop trying to fit in, I discover where I truly belong.

So, if you're like me- awkward, introverted, socially quirky- I see you. And I want you to know that you are not alone. You're not weird and there's nothing that's inherently wrong with you. This world needs all kinds of people. God made us all differently, in His own unique way, to be used as He will (I'll reference John the Baptist here, as an example.)

A final word to all the social misfits out there: let's be the best misfits God made us to be! And shine, as we do life, in His will...together!